You know what the worst part about writing a book is? Yeah, I’m not sure either. But I’ll tell you that today may be at the top of the list. Let me take you back to earlier this week…
On Tuesday, I received the proof copy of my new thriller Absolute Authority, complete with the new cover and all the right formatting. I gave it a once over and was very happy with what I saw. The cover looked fantastic, the type face was what I had envisioned on the page, the page numbering was correct — everything seemed to be in order. I moved on from the over-arching stuff to the details and started reading a few pages. I had made a few revisions before I uploaded the file, so I wanted to double check to make sure they had carried over, which they had. So far, so good. That is, until I spotted some typos.
Do you know how many freakin’ times I’ve been over this book?! Typos? Still? Really? But there they were, taunting me. To me, typos (especially ones that have existed for this long) are like trolls. Just when you think it’s safe to cross the bridge and carry on your peaceful little journey to publishing stardom, BAM! The nasty little bugger sticks his ugly nose right in your face and then does his wretched little waddly in-your-face dance that makes you question your overall good character as you desperately try to maintain control over your sanity and not string the stinky, slump-shouldered creature up from the nearest tree just so you can get on with your life.
But, no, the troll wins. Every time. Especially for a writer who is borderline OCD. (Or is that CDO, so it’s in alphabetical order?) Either way, I can’t not fix typos. They control me. They are my obsession. They consume every ounce of my being. They are my demons. They are also common when I type too fast. And that bothers me. I need to learn to type faster better.
Anyway, that’s not why today is so agonizing. It’s so agonizing because I had to upload a new file this morning to replace the typo-laden one from earlier this week, which means I’m now waiting to hear back from the formatting folks so I can approve the final edition and get it up for sale. There is where the agony lies: in waiting. I hate to wait. It’s a waste of time. It’s not like I haven’t already spent years and years writing the darn thing…oh, wait, yes, I have.
So today is Waiting Day. I hate it. I will not be happy until the mail icon lights up with a note saying the formatting is all peachy and the book is ready for sale. Granted, it will most likely be later today. But it’s kinda like waiting for the microwave to finish. It’s the fastest cooking method known to man, yet we get impatient waiting those last 20 seconds.
So now I wait for an e-mail giving me the okay to launch my book. And now you’ve spent some of your time waiting with me. Perhaps we should both get back to other things before the popcorn timer dings.